I Hates Man-uh-gerial Uhccounting!!!!

Furmom hasta do her man-uh-gerial uhaccounting homey-works. I thinks I can help wif the hard parts.

It sounds REELY diffycult but we gots this unner control.

Not likin' this so muchy......

Oh, how I HATES Man-uh-gerial uhccounting!!! Blast!!! I hates, I hates it, I hates it!!!

I never wants to hear about man-uh-gerial uhccounting EBER agin!!!!!

Fur now, I'll jus takes out my anger on this pen!!!

Curse you, man-uh-gerial uhccounting! Leeve my furmom alone!!!!

Jus Watchin' the Tellyvision

Furmom caughted me watchin' the Tellyvision last nite. It was stormin' outsides, all yucky and stuffs. Furmom was doin' londry, or should I say YAWN-dry. BORING. Furmom happened ta look inna sleepytime room and caughted me watchin' the tellyvision. She laffed at me like it wasn't normal fur a kitty to watch it or somethin'. 

Furmom's Poor Tazte In Bookies

 Lemme jus start off by meowin' that Furmom woodn't know a good bookie iffen it hit her right sqare in the noggin'. She started readin' this bookie called "Everything's Eventual" by Stephen King. So I thot, I mighten like to read it too, jus to see what the hype is alla bout. Let's jus say SNOOZE! I honessly don't see how Furmom reads this drivel. Or any bean fur that madder.  That paw-ticular bookie is a buncha short storiez all in one bookie. So far, I has readed two short storiez and that is all I cood handle. YUCK!  
 

One short story is 'bout a devil-man inna black suity that tries ta get the little boy. The bean man has far and flamez in his bean eyes and tries to tell the bean boy that his momma done dieded. I thinks that is NOT furry nice ta do! I mean, who does that???  I says send the devil-man strate bak to heck iffen that was, in fact, what he was.... a devil man. Everykitty knows the devil is furry, furry evil and he will lie to a kitty or a bean to git his way. 

 Then the other short story I readed was 'bout a bean man that gotted bit by a snaky while playin' golf and the venom frum the snaky made the bean man paw-alyzed. He woked up inna autopsy room and the bean expurrrts were 'bout to cut him frum stem to stern. The whole entar story was basikally 'bout the bean man not bein' able ta move and the doktors were 'bout to do a autopsy on him and there wasn't not a thing in the worl' he could do 'bout it. Then at the last minute, another doktor comed in and told them, WAIT, DON'T CUT HIM OPEN! HE IS JUST PLAYIN' POSSUM! Well, not in those werds exactlee, but similar anyways.

First, why do beans even PLAY golf? That has gots to be one of the dumbest aktivities I ever saw. Sekond, why didn't the dummy bean golfy man LOOK where he was goin' and not go into the weedz where there could be snakes? Anykitty knows snakes likes ta stay and hide out in tall weeds and that's exactlee where the bean man went to. Dumb, stoopid, brainless bean man. 

So I guess yous could say I am not a fan of this Stephen King like mine Furmom is. I don't see what she and other beans sees in him. Everthing he writes seems to be witless drivel. I mean, a car that comes ta life and kills beans??? A huge dawg that gets rabeez frum a raccoon and traps beans inna car for days & days???? I thinks I could write better stuffs than that wif my eyes closed and my paws tied up wif pastel yellow yarns. 

Autum Wether



It is startin' to feel like fall these dayz.  Furmom says I haf onlee lived thru one fall so fur, and this will be my sekund. I don't mind fall. I is, affer all, a inside kitteh. Wot I don't like, howefur is WINTUR! Eben tho I don't haf to go outside in the wintur 'less I wants to, I still don't likes it coz it makes everone sad and dupressed and a kitty can't sees the grassies outside and not many birdies come to visit.



I thinks me and my Furmom shood jus take off fur a tropikal eye-land and furget abouts alla wintur time. Jus come bak wen it is warm agin and the birdies and jumpy-froggies come out to play.

Resty Time

Affer alla crazeeness latlee, I jus wanted to rests. It jus happened to be on Ashlee's softy pillo. Ahhhh... ZzZzZzZzZzZz. Sooooo comfies!

Thank Hebbens I Made It Out Alive!!!!!!

Dis is me affer "the sleepober of this past Friday nite." Furmom's step-dotters ducided to haf a payjamma party. Dis hadda be the LOWDEST, most CRAZIEST, NERB-RAKKING party EBER. Did I menshun it was LOWD? I am used to sum lowd. But not DAT much lowd!  There were five girl beans that spended the nite wif Karlee & Ashlee. I neber seen so much crazee in one place befur. I din't dare post a bloggie over the weak-end coz iffen I was still fur too long, it coulda ben bad. I meen reely bad, like losin' all your furs bad. That's how bad it coulda ben.

Them girl beans made such a mess hole of the hous that I thot Furmom was gonna haf to take herseff to the 'mergencee room. There were payper plates and plastik bowls skattered everyplace a kitty cood see. Their bean beddytime rooms were trashed wif not one thing in place like it was s'posed to be. Sumhows, Ashlee wound up wif generik mussle-rub creme in her eyeball, like Icy Hot Furmom sed. Now tell me how THAT happent? The beans SED it was a aksident, but do YOU beleef them? Sumthin fishy went on iffen you ask me.

Needlez to say, I hid UTB as much as I possiblee cood. Furmom tooked me out by the new fire pit thingy fur a bit, but she holded me so nuffin ----or noONE---cood git me. It was nice sittin wif Furmom by the fire, but man oh man, was I eber nervus about one of those bean kids gittin' hold of me. I don't know iffen I cood wifstand anofur sleepover eber. Like neber, eber. Not eben eber. Whewwww...

Door Play

This mernin', Furmom was gettin' reddy fur werk & I felt like playin'. I wood bring her my favrit toy, she wood throw it, I wood retreev it, then bring it bak and drop it at her paws so she cood throw it agin.  Then she wasn't throwin' it quik enuff, so I ducided to play wif the door. Hey, I know how to innertain myself! I don't ALWAZE need Furmom to haf funs!

Furmom wood tuch my pawsie and I wood jerk it bak unner the door reel quik-like. It was a pretty fun game!

Tuezday Funs

I felt like exxercisin' while Furmom was on her treddy-meal.

Then I hadda take a brake.

Herez me wif my favrit toy in my mouf. I takes it to Furmom & she throws it. Over & over agin like how dogs do.

Herez ANOVER snake we saw yesserday. It was tryin' to get in the hous wen Furmom was takin' in grosherries.  What is a kitty to do?? That makez 2 snakes in about 2 weeks. Sheesh.

Munday Addventure

Furmom tooked me outside yesserday. We visited wif da big browned bear fur a bit, then Furmom letted me play in the yard.

I jus hadda eat sum greenies.

Every time Furmom wood try to take a pitcher wif the clicky thing, I wood move & sum of the pitchers din't turn out so good.

Kick, kick, kick. Sumpin gotted me!

Sniffin' the greenies. Figurin' out witch ones I wanna nom.

I think I will nom THIS one!

Heard sumpin.....

Oh, it was jus the big browned bear whining coz Furmom is payin' 'ttention to me 'sted of him.

Saw a hummy-bird fly rite over my hed!

Can't get enuff greenies!

Nom, nom, nom!

Gotta chek out the rest of the flowerbeddy.

This mulchie feelz good on my paws!

Lookin' at Furmom coz she keeps takin' pitchers fur sum unknone reeson!

Likin' this rock. Wood be a good place to sit.

Feels warm frum the sunshiny....

Furmom, wood you PLEEZ stop wif the clicky thing!?!?

Kick, kick, kick again! Sumpin won't leeve me alone!

Takin' off agin.

Fount a dirt pile to roll in.

Streeeeettttttttch.

Dirt feels good to roll in.

Furmom, why don't yous come down here & roll wif me?

Impatience Wif My Beans, Mostlee Big Scary Guy

Well, it was not a very eventful weekend. Furmom & BSG spended basikally the hole entire time setting up FURniture & such. A kitty reely gets neglekted wen the beans has stuffs to do. I tried my bestest to helps though. As you can sees in this pitcher, I helped put togever the dresser.

BSG is reely peeved coz they gotted a new couchy & BSG says to Furmom that iffen "that stoopid cat" scratches up the FURniture, he is gonna "wring its neck". So Furmom boughted me a scratching post witch I jus REFUZE to use, being that it is a store-boughted itum and I wood much rather scritch up the couch, it feels so much betters on my pawsies. Do they reely think a generik store-boughted scratching post is gonna do the trik? Furmom even hadda nurve to TRY to shows me how to use it. I meen, I ain't stoopid. BSG mite calls me that, but I ain't. I KNOW how to scritch things. I was borned known' how to scritch things all to peeces. I was kinda offended. 

I wish they wood jus leeve me alone. First camed the tryin' to make me stay offen the kichen counters, and now this. I thinks BSG haz a mayjor inflooence on Furmom. Furmom tries to help me, tryin' to esplain to BSG that I is a cat for Pete's sake, I needs to esplore my surroundings & such. I don't know fur shore who this Pete is, but I jus bet he is in on the "Keep Phoenix offen everthing" plot. Alla know is, I HATES IT. Just leeve me alone and lets me scritch & climb! I don't try to tells them what to do when they wants to take a baftime or goes to sleep or somethin'. I knows iffen it was jus Furmom, she wood lemme do whateber I wanted.



UPDATE:    Yesserday (Monday) when Furmom comed home, me and her went in the livy-room where the scratching post is. We prakticed using it & Furmom sed I did a terrific job. I sunk my claws deep in the fabrik and skritched it. BSG was in another room so I think that made me feel more comFURtible. Furmom sed she is very prowd of me!

Randum FURiday

 Since I don't reely have anythin' excitin' to rite about tuday, I figgered I may as well put sum pitcherz that I haven't posted yet.

Herez me wen Furmom woked me up the utter day. I had been nappin' on the soft binkie. My eyes looks a little sleepy-like.

Herez a wormy guy that was in my driving-way the utter day. BSG blundered aroun' and stepped on him affer this pitcher was tooked, so I hopes he is okay.

 

 

And herez the finnish produkt of the flowerbeddy & frunt poorch affer Furmom & BSG gotted done wif it. All these crazee lil bugs, like horsey-flies, likes to get on the cooshins of the chares.