Furmom's Poor Tazte In Bookies

 Lemme jus start off by meowin' that Furmom woodn't know a good bookie iffen it hit her right sqare in the noggin'. She started readin' this bookie called "Everything's Eventual" by Stephen King. So I thot, I mighten like to read it too, jus to see what the hype is alla bout. Let's jus say SNOOZE! I honessly don't see how Furmom reads this drivel. Or any bean fur that madder.  That paw-ticular bookie is a buncha short storiez all in one bookie. So far, I has readed two short storiez and that is all I cood handle. YUCK!  
 

One short story is 'bout a devil-man inna black suity that tries ta get the little boy. The bean man has far and flamez in his bean eyes and tries to tell the bean boy that his momma done dieded. I thinks that is NOT furry nice ta do! I mean, who does that???  I says send the devil-man strate bak to heck iffen that was, in fact, what he was.... a devil man. Everykitty knows the devil is furry, furry evil and he will lie to a kitty or a bean to git his way. 

 Then the other short story I readed was 'bout a bean man that gotted bit by a snaky while playin' golf and the venom frum the snaky made the bean man paw-alyzed. He woked up inna autopsy room and the bean expurrrts were 'bout to cut him frum stem to stern. The whole entar story was basikally 'bout the bean man not bein' able ta move and the doktors were 'bout to do a autopsy on him and there wasn't not a thing in the worl' he could do 'bout it. Then at the last minute, another doktor comed in and told them, WAIT, DON'T CUT HIM OPEN! HE IS JUST PLAYIN' POSSUM! Well, not in those werds exactlee, but similar anyways.

First, why do beans even PLAY golf? That has gots to be one of the dumbest aktivities I ever saw. Sekond, why didn't the dummy bean golfy man LOOK where he was goin' and not go into the weedz where there could be snakes? Anykitty knows snakes likes ta stay and hide out in tall weeds and that's exactlee where the bean man went to. Dumb, stoopid, brainless bean man. 

So I guess yous could say I am not a fan of this Stephen King like mine Furmom is. I don't see what she and other beans sees in him. Everthing he writes seems to be witless drivel. I mean, a car that comes ta life and kills beans??? A huge dawg that gets rabeez frum a raccoon and traps beans inna car for days & days???? I thinks I could write better stuffs than that wif my eyes closed and my paws tied up wif pastel yellow yarns.